#iwearmystories to Learn to Stop Judging Others

I believe everyone has meaningful stories. Somewhere out there, there are people who need to hear our stories…

We never know what happened to other people, what makes them do what they do, or wear what they wear. When is the last time you see someone who looked so weird to you, who made you create negatives comments about them?  What triggers you to start judging others?

My curiosity about ‘the stories behind people’s looks’, ‘why people dress up like that,’ leads me to create a personal project: #iwearmystories.”

silhouette of people in the train station
Our appearance is like a silhouette, we may clearly see the shape, but can’t really tell the details of it.

Words and actions can change someone’s life completely

We all have experience of being judged or bullied while also judged and bullied others. For some people, those painful experiences could haunt and harm them for the rest of their life.

Social Media Instagram
I think nowadays social media is one of the most toxic weapons to judge people and create insecurities

#iwearmystories was inspired by how I feel so sick of being judge and judge others too and exhausted witnessing people judging each other without trying to know each other… Judgments can harm people’s heart, trigger their insecurities, and give a huge negative impact on their life.

"Be curious, not judgmental" best quote by Walt Whitman

Is it natural to judge?

Don’t we tend to judge and bully people because of their appearance? We might often unconsciously judge others even we still feel guilty because we know that it isn’t the right thing to do.

“Most of us couldn’t help but to naturally judge or analyze people by their appearance. I think it’s our defense mechanism to protect us from the unknown. We feel more comfortable when we know something even a little.”

“Why do you dress up like that?”

It gave me an idea to learn to stop judging people by trying to remind myself: I also don’t want to be judged… I don’t know them, their reasons, or their stories… and if I have a chance, I decided to ask them directly why…

People have different opinions about how outfit mean to them
People have different opinions about how outfit mean to them. For some of them, it’s not only just a piece to wear.

One and a half years ago, I started to interview random people who were willing to share the stories behind their looks and share their identity.

interview with a guy who share the stories behind his choice of outfit style
My first impression of him was: a man with a flat expression who wears all black outfit

The people I interview don’t always need to be someone who is fashionable, fashionista, understand fashion or work in the fashion industry. I believe everyone has their own interesting stories to share and reasons why they choose certain clothing, style, or looks.

interview people about their fashion style and stories behind their outfit and clothing
I interview random people and ask them the story behind their outfits. All of them were open to sharing their views

There’s always risks and consequences

After writing several stories and posted on my old blog, I started to feel that sharing people’s identity became a burden. Most of the people I interviewed gave me permission to share their identity. Even though I always try to be as neutral as I can, I’m still afraid to make mistake; like writing something that makes them looked bad.

thinking in front of laptop, afraid to make a mistake
Writing about ourselves is hard already and writing about other people is much harder. We need to be able to be neutral and avoid to judge, but still… people will always have different perspectives

Let’s learn to care by starting to share

My purpose of interviewing them is to share their stories so others can gain insights, knowledge, inspirations, and also can understand each other more. I don’t want the stories they share —which was supposed to help us learn to stop judging— became a trigger that just makes other people judge them.

interview people about their fashion style and stories behind their outfit and clothing
Hearing other people stories always surprised me. They have so many unexpected and interesting things to share

Everyone has meaningful stories

Finally, I decided to not mention the identity of the people I interviewed to avoid any worst case scenario.

#iwearmystories is my pending project. Most of the interviews occurred in the last few months of 2017 until mid-2018, but I still think that will not make their stories’ power expired. Their stories, their thoughts, their personality might change, but I believe that their stories’ impact won’t change.

interview people about their fashion style and stories behind their outfit and clothing
Everyone who their stories with me gave me so many inspirations and insights


For now, I don’t think I’ll be capable of interview too many people, but I’ll try to post “#iwearmystories” at least every once a month. Hopefully, I can more often interview more people and share more precious stories. The first story “A Caring Proof” has been posted! Stay tuned on my blog, subscribe if you want to keep updated with the newest stories. Hope you’ll enjoy it!

interview people about their fashion style and stories behind their outfit and clothing
Hearing other people’s stories help me to learn my self even more

While we are still breathing, let’s start to try to stop judging, feed our mind with curiosity, and continue to learn to the best version we could ever be. Open our eyes, ears, and heart… to listen and to see how much beautiful things have been waiting for us to discover in life.


If you want to share your stories, feel free to contact me through comments, e-mail, or Instagram, I’ll be happy to talk or interview you! You can also share your stories on your social media by using #iwearmystories @iwearmymood

Our looks and appearance may worth a thousand words… 
but let our heart speak up our own voice…
share our stories through fashion!

What does outfit mean to people? Is it just a piece of clothing to wear or is there something more to it? What can outfits tell about people?

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4 Comments on "#iwearmystories to Learn to Stop Judging Others"

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Reyne Raea

Btw mba, kadang pertanyaan juga beraroma judge loh 😀
Setuju banget, mengapa harus menghabiskan waktu untuk menjudge orang?
sedangkan hidup ini terlalu indah untuk diabaikan dengan sibuk judge orang ya 🙂

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