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When Neutral is Not Enough

There are times when you want to challenge yourself and push your limits.
Just to see how strong you are…


Nowadays, so many people do a photo shoot and take photos of themselves in public places to make a living or just to post it on social media. I began to wonder how do they feel when doing a photoshoot?

Do you think they feel good wearing great outfits? Do they feel confident wearing expensive bags or feel comfortable wearing beautiful shoes?

I never know how they feel, but I’m going to share you how I felt when doing a photo shoot in a public place, Chinatown Bandung.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

Sometimes, stepping outside the comfort zone is good

However, when you’re on your weakest point, be careful to step without knowing what you might face ahead.

My photographer friend randomly contacted me to be a model for his fun random photo-shoot. At first, I hesitated since I was having a terrible mood, but he managed to convince me. I thought going out would help me clear my mind, and taking good photos would cheer me up.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure
My photographer friend got bored of taking photos of models and asked me, who’s not photogenic nor used to modeling in front of a camera.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

Fake it ’till you make it

“Where to? What’s the concept?” I asked.
Chinatown Bandung. Just wear whatever you want to wear,” he said.
I answered, “I’m going to wear anything depending on my mood tomorrow…”

However, I didn’t follow my mood… it was a bad decision.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure in Chinatown
Chinatown Bandung is a Bandung touristic and culinary spot. Many people came there to take photos since it has a really nice and beautiful decoration.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

I pushed myself to wear a dress and ignored my mood of wearing a plain black top and baggy ripped jeans.

I wanted to have a feminine look and wearing a dress usually helped me to feel more confident. Since I didn’t know the photo-shoot concept nor have any Chinese outfits or jewelry to wear to Chinatown Bandung, I decided to wear a safe option, a neutral color dress.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure in Chinatown
I wear a plain neutral light brown bodycon dress with collar and short sleeves. It was one of my favorite dresses which I used to wear to work.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

Trying to fit in

My outfit was plain and neutral so I need to add accessories to spice up my look. I wore a pair of ’brass ethnic’ earrings which had a different style from my classic dress.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure in Chinatown
I like to combine outfits and accessories which have different styles to see how they work together.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

Eyes speak the truth.

I had a little problem that time: my friend told me that I looked sad and it showed in the photo.

“Think or remember the things that make you happy!” my friend told me every time he was trying to take a photo of me.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure in Chinatown
Even when I smiled, my eyes couldn’t hide how I felt that time.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

How to feel happy? Imagining eating my favorite chocolate lava cake wasn’t enough.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure in Chinatown
I’m not used to having my photo taken especially in a public place. It makes me feel so insecure.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

Don’t push yourself too hard.

It was hard to face a challenge and do something uncomfortable especially when you feel down and insecure. 

The dress I wore didn’t make me feel more comfortable at all. Instead, it made me feel even more insecure. It took lots of effort to pose and to look good in it. I also didn’t feel confident having my photos taken in a public place. Thankfully, it wasn’t crowded that day.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure in Chinatown
Only now I know that dress only made me feel comfortable in certain situations.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

Dress up and wear anything that makes you feel secure and confident.

I asked my friend if I can put on my sunglasses. I couldn’t fake my eyes or how I felt. Thankfully, he said it was okay. I got better photos when I put on my sunglasses and carry my favorite bag.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure in Chinatown
Every woman I see who carries this bag look really classy and powerful. This bag helps me to gain more confidence.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

It was finally the time I felt most comfortable. I carried Celine luggage, a bag I’ve been dreaming of for quite a long time. To finally be able to buy that bag is like a dream comes true.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure in Chinatown
I once put Celine Mini Luggage Tri-Tone photo on my phone’s and computer’s background, just to motivate me to work harder.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

We all need a present to reward our hard works.

I’m not a shopaholic and I only buy things I love with my own money to reward myself for working so hard. Shoes and bags become a milestone in my life and I usually buy them on a special occasion.

there are many ways to reward ourselves after the hard works
There are many ways to reward ourselves after the hard works, like spending time alone to recharge energy
Read: Another White to Begin an End

I wear my cover to fake my insecurity but failed to make it

Let’s give applause to every model in the world because modeling is a hard job! I’m not sure of how others feel when a doing a photo shoot, especially in a public place.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure in Chinatown
I thought taking photos will make me feel better about myself, turned out, it wasn’t that fun when I can’t hide my own insecurity.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

Wearing designer clothes, expensive bags, or beautiful shoes might comfort you a little bit, but it’ll never be enough to free you from your own insecurities.

At least, now I know that sometimes, to survive is enough.

in the mood of wearing neutral color outfit to feel secure in Chinatown
Even though I was struggling to get good photos, I’m still proud to be able to do a photo-shoot in a public place.
Photo by: Rifqi Bachsin. @ Chinatown Bandung

I wonder how do you feel when doing a photo shoot or take a photo of yourself? Do you also feel insecure? If you want to share your thoughts, comment below, contact me, or share through Instagram! I would like to hear and learn new perspectives!


Sometimes, all you need is just to survive on each day you have,
smile, and tell yourself that you have made it through…



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